Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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