apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Ladies don't puke and tell
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
