did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
