I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
