no you cant smoke seaweed
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
