This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
