Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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