I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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