i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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