so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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