what if every blade of grass was a penis?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We have so much sex to catch up on
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize