I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
