also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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