I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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