never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
