would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
