PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
