I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
