So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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