call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
