Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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