It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
