Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
