To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
