so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
