I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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