wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
