For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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