she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
