so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I wish there were birth control emojis
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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