sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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