spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize