whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
