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• (352): View more from Florida

  What are you doing?

  (352): View more from Florida

  High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...

  (352): View more from Florida

  That guy could sell me cancer.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.

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• (607): View more from New York

  When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"

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• (407): View more from Florida

  he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  I think his dick was bigger than his dog

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  there is glitter all over my balls

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  i feel like you should know pants are always optional

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