Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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