i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
