what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
