I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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