i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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