lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize