Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
