i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize