I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
