fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
