Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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