I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize