A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
