do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize
