im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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