Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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