plz talk dirty to me
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
