yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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