You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
