Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
