Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize