You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Randomize
