I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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