my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
