My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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