There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
