It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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