Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Randomize
