New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
