You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize