Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
