Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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