We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
