i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
