why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
