Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
