There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize