i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
