Kiss
Puke
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
