there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
